So you notice that patterns do seem to emerge. You are looking for some signs of intelligence, from the other side of the cloudy horizon. You stare into the woodwork, and shapes emerge. Staring into the fabric of the curtains. The doors of perception. Now that our psyche is pounded, bombarded with all these images, where can you say they are coming from. You can't say it is anything external. Hallucinations, are not external, so why should anything else be. A question of physics I guess, and certainly beyond me, I'm just talking to myself.

But the thought that you try to see some external intelligence, that is designing reality, and yes, I am external to this, and designing a web site. The universe was created by more than one mind. Universe, a singular expression of all and everything, is comprised of an incomprehensible multitude of intelligences. I find a pantheon much more believable in this respect.

So I have started twittering. And I find it therapeutic. Trying to trace my thoughts, and now there is a way to do that. I find I don't want to share my thoughts, and twitter is a tool that facilitates that. It's the semi-publishing, or maybe pseudo publishing. It seems more real if you save your writing in a database on the net somewhere. I have a blank notebook on my beside table, but instead I'm writing with a keyboard and a laptop in bed. The notebook is dead. Long live MySQL.

I write about tools, but I fail to write. I want to write about something real, and not just feel that it's real. Take Donnie Darko, for instance. That was a real story, and this is the type of real I'm talking about. The unreal.

Going back over what I've written here, thought it may not be apparent, there is a direction, a current, underneath the surface. It's a story about becoming, that has, and may never have and ending. I recently watched the film, "Lions for Lambs" and not that it was an overwhelmingly great film, there were things I liked about it. The ending for one, which seemingly left some things unresolved, unless there was some subtext I missed. That's kind of a joke, if you see the film, you might get it.

The film used whats becoming a traditional way of cutting between various subplots, short cuts, that are all somehow connected.

I want to develop my own outcome measurement tracking tool, and much how another project has been working on developing whole crm suite as a drupal module, I too think that drupal is best suited to provide the framework for the tool I envision. The only party driving the requirements for this tool is myself however, I'm certainly not skilled or qualified enough to develop an application for someone else, but I think I am on the virge of knowing enough to create something for myself.

I feel like I've been wandering through a dungeon, of code. Learning, or trying to learn application development, when I really don't have a head for it, it seems. I make small steps forward. Coding just doesn't seem to be my thing.

My objective is to mold one of these frameworks, to fit a need as I see it, for recording thought. The thoughts are on various topics, or ideas. I want to have a log about thought or work on each idea. And some access controls on these logs and topics, where I can share or keep certain ones private. I know that there are several blogging tools that will fit this need, Heck, there are tools out there that already do this, but I don't think thats the point. It partly an educational experience and maybe just settling on one framework, and seeing the development through needs to happen.